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To whom it may concern:

I’d like to start this off with an apology to all those who had the misfortune of having known me. I’m so sorry I hurt you. You cared but it wasn’t enough to keep me in the land of the living. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay alive for you. I tried; I really did. I’m sorry I couldn't try harder. I was too tired and weak to continue this life. Mind you, this is NOT your fault. I do not want you to blame yourself in anyway. I am the one to blame because I was the one who committed the crime. It was bound to happen like a long-time drug addict's death via overdose. It was inevitable.
I wonder how I did it. I wouldn’t know considering I’m typing this weeks-no- months before I actually ended it. It must’ve been sudden since overthinking it would’ve stopped me. I couldn’t let that happen again. I’d only be prolonging my own suffering.You might be asking, “What suffering? She wasn’t homeless or anything like that. Her life was normal!” You’re right; my life was relatively normal. My parents were together and I wasn’t poor. That’s not what killed me. It was my own mind, I suppose.
I am not normal; anxiety and depression are the demons that dragged me to hell. Anxiety prevented me from socializing properly and self-advocating. This made making friends and getting shit done, in general, very difficult. I can’t keep a job. I can’t make friends on my own. I can’t go to school without having to constantly fight my irrational fears and insecurities. I just couldn’t function in society. So what was the point in staying? I was nothing more than a burden to my friends and family; especially to my family.
Depression took away the light that made me who I was. It took the old me away and there was no way she could’ve came back. She was dead and what was left was a broken shell of her former self. The one you remember. She seemed normal, right? She looked fine, right? Oh but she was so very far from fine. I was full of such painful negativity. >TBC<
Ever get that heavy ache in your heart that just won't stop no matter how hard you try?

I don't know why I still feel this way. I just want it to stop. At first, I used to distract myself but trivial things couldn't keep my demons away forever.

Now I'm laying on my couch typing this as Rick and Morty plays in the background. Wubba lubba dub dub!

This journal is my last attempt to keep me away from the edge. I hope it works because I'm getting so tired of this.
Ever get that heavy ache in your heart that just won't stop no matter how hard you try?

I don't know why I still feel this way. I just want it to stop. At first, I used to distract myself but trivial things couldn't keep my demons away forever.

Now I'm laying on my couch typing this as Rick and Morty plays in the background. Wubba lubba dub dub!

This journal is my last attempt to keep me away from the edge. I hope it works because I'm getting so tired of this.

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TheBeautySurrounds
United States

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:iconlerik-oo7:
lerik-oo7 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2017  Student
Thank you very much for the fav and for the watch! It is very important to me. It is a strong motivation to creation arts :D
Good luck! :)
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:iconbloodhoundomega:
BloodhoundOmega Featured By Owner May 21, 2017
Thank you very much for the Watch! ^^
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:iconwolf250:
Wolf250 Featured By Owner May 17, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch :)
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:icon8twilightangel8:
8TwilightAngel8 Featured By Owner May 17, 2017  Professional General Artist
Thank you for the watch! :D
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:iconred-embers:
red-embers Featured By Owner May 13, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!! I appreciate it <3 :D :D
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:iconafrozenheart:
AFrozenHeart Featured By Owner May 11, 2017  Professional General Artist
Thank you very much fpr the watch :D
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:iconabenius:
Abenius Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017  Student General Artist
thank you very fave and the watch, it makes me very happy :hug:
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:iconmempsis:
Mempsis Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much for watching! :happybounce:
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:iconp4ndora-l:
P4ndora-L Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch 'u'
 
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:iconpiratehearts:
PirateHearts Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2017  Professional Filmographer
Thanks for the watch! :ahoy:
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